lately

In my humanities class today this girl who sits next to me was handing out cookies for some reason, and when she tried to hand me one I just blurted out "Oh no thanks, I'm allergic to Gluten! Thanks anyway." Which I most definitely am not, so I'm still not quite sure why my brain felt the need to tell my mouth to say that. I would have loved to have eaten that cookie!
This weekend my mom came to visit me and Sam for our belated birthday and it was really nice. She stayed at the Silver Cloud Inn and I spent the night there with her on Saturday. We didn't really do anything, we just sort of kicked it in the hotel room for most of her visit. She got here on Saturday at around noon and we went to lunch at a Thai place called Wild Orchid and I had this really delicious ginger chicken thing that came with this delectable fried rice that tasted like it was harvested in the wheat fields of the LORD. After lunch we went back to my room (oh yeah, my roommate is moving out, I don't know if I told you...literally she just left without saying anything at all what a biiiiiiitchhhhh) and I showed her my new wall decorations and stuff and then we got Sam from his dorm and went back to the hotel where we opened our presentzz. I got a record player (as you know), The Colossus by Sylvia Plath, an antique prescription bottle from like the 20's and a pair of penny loafers, which I am wearing today and I love them except they are a little uncomfortable. On Saturday night, we got room service for dinner and I ordered a chicken sandwich and a chocolate milkshake and Sam ate with us and then went back to school because he was going to a Sigma Chi Partay. So me and my mom stayed up super late watching netflix and she brought with her this movie called Control, which I highly highly highly recommend. It's about Ian Curtis from Joy Division, and it was just wonderful. Then we watched Downton Abbey forEVER and then it was like 2 a.m. but we weren't really tired so we just sort of hung out and I played my guitar. Then we went to sleep and I slept horribly and kept getting really overheated and then really really cold and I felt like I was on crack. The next morning we ate breakfast in the lobby of the hotel and then went to Nordstrom with Sam to get him some shoes, and then my mom left at like 3.
When I went back to my room I was unpacking my overnight bag and everything was fine and then all of a sudden as I was making my bed, I just kind of broke down and started crying for no reason. And I cried and screamed into my pillow for such a long time, and today I have these little red dots all around my eyes from broken blood vessels and I just have no clue why I got so upset. Today I feel completely fine, so I am just really confused why that happened.
Anyway, I should go because I have to analyze the Communist Manifesto for politics class. HOORAY. Love and miss you all like cray.
~Elaina

Problem (I can hear the bells) and THE BEST

Guys I legitimately think I have a problem. I have legitimately been looking at wedding stuff way too much lately. That stupid site pinterest got me started on it. Now I have like my entire wedding planned out and I know what my dress is going to look like and to make matters worse I've also only watched say yes to the dress the last two days in the hotel. I need to find a new hobby but don't really want to because its pretty fun. Anyway I hope you all had a fantastic valentines day. and thank you all for the birthday wishes. It was kind of ridiculous. I literally had the best  weekend- my favorite thus far of my time at whitman.

It started Thursday just really not having much to do and then Friday was great. We had a game that night that we won in overtime by three and it was so stressful and exciting and awesome AND because we had had four games in eight days we had both saturday and sunday off from basketball sooooo I partied and drank even though we're "technically" not supposed to because of dry season (pretty much everyone on my team who drinks went out) so I came back and just chilled for a bit and then I got ready and dressed all country-y for this hick party at one of the frats (TKE- pronouced "teak") and I went to that for a bit and danced with only Angi- you see because we were being lesbians for the night so she wouldn't go home with anyone- then I ran around for a bit trying to find girls on my basketball team. I actually ended up talking to a girl Hallie who's on my team and got to know her a little better which was really fun shes super cool and I think we'll be pretty good friends. We were trying to gather all in one place but it didn't really work out so I ended up going over the Beta  and playing some beer pong with him and dancing and then leaving and hanging out in his room til like 2 and then going to sleep.

The next day I woke up at like 9 stayed awake til 9:40 and then went back to sleep and slept til 12:30. I went to brunch with mah boizz  at the dining hall and for the rest of the day I literally don't really know what I did. I painted my nails for the night because I was going to a Mardi Gras themed party at Beta and picked out my outfit and literally waited around for like 3 hours doing nothing while my nails dried. AND THEY DIDN'T EVEN DRY ALL THE WAY BECAUSE OF THE GLITTER I STILL FUCKED THEM UP SOMEHOW. Anyway, I went out to dinner at this yummy burger place and when we got back I reallllllyyyy got ready to go out. I looked haught hawt haut too. I went to Hallie's room in a different dorm with Alyssa (the other freshman on the basketball team) and had a beer then Hallie and some of her friends and I went to Beta and I literally had the best night. I danced so much and played pong and drank yummy dranks and danced and sang to all types of music and sometime after midnight they made this huge bonfire in the backyard and we all just stood around it and talked and laughed and drank and it was so fun. We didn't get back to my room til like 2:40 but that was completely fine.

The next morning I made the rounds to wake everyone up at 10 because we were getting brunch at 11 for my birthday! They were all supposed to come and then I was surprised by FIONA WOODMAN there. It wasn't completely a surprise because I'm not that oblivious but it was still great. She came back to my room and we just visited and laughed and were loud and weird and she met my friends and compared music with Sam and all the boiz were like HOTDAMNSHESATTRACTIVE and I was like IKNOW and then we went on like a three hour walk around campus and town and went to goodwill and bought things and then later we went and watched the sunset in the wheat fields with some people and it was beautiful and spectacular and then we went to dinner at one of my favorite places called Olive and it was delicious and so girly and fun. We talked about sex a lot more than probably socially acceptable. but whatevs.... YOLO amiright? we spent the rest of the night just being really weird (normal for us) and loud and talking and giggling and laughing hysterically and I did a lil homework. At midnight I got a present and some cards for my birthday which was nice and fun and then we stayed up until 4 talking in the guys section lounge and it was great. She slept in my bed and we fit great together there (she fits with me on my twin bed quite nicely =])

The next day I had class at 10 and 11 and then met Fi for lunch at our main like student center thing where we ate chicken. Then I had class at 1 til 2:20 but she stayed and hung out with Kels and others. She left around 3 and it was sad but so fun when she was here. I'm so glad you came and saw my life at whitman Fi that was so cool and the best birthday present.
anyway afterwards everyone knew about it and had been playing birthday sex outside the door at one point which was funny but awkward when I walked back into my room and there were like 7 people just in there and it was just extraordinarily awkward and funny cause I was all flushed and my hair was a mess (actually cause I had just taken it down from a bun but none of them knew that) Anyway.... like right after that I had to go to basketball practice and all I wanted to do was sleep. it was a nice and short practice with a light lift at the end luckily because afterwards I ran back to anderson to shower and get ready for my birthday dinner that boyfriend took me to. We went to probably the nicest place in Walla Walla called Whitehouse Crawford and its in this beautiful old building that used to be the lumberyard when Walla Walla was a logging town and the restaurant was so yummy and beautiful and I had a great time and got to dress up all fancy. The only problem was I was so sleepy from my so many good days in a row that I was really out of it at dinner and kinda spacey and falling asleep so I felt really bad. when we got back to anderson, Angi had made me a cake and they sang to me and we ate it- I didn't I was so full from dinner (lamb ragu) and did just relaxed for the rest of my birthday. It was so great.

The two days after it I felt kinda sick and perpetually sick but I guess thats what you get when you have four great days in a row. Best birthday weekend ever. I'm so happy with my life right now. I'm in love with my boyfriend I have great friends and live in a beautiful place. Thank you guys for being a part of that and being so supportive and loving. Its really pretty awesome and cool. I love you. Hope you liked my story!
Love Hailey

moments before a lecture

My dearest Elaina you will never fully understand my deep respect for your ability to explore the actual and literal corners of the inter-web. It can hardly be called procrastination when it is just so impressive and unique.

I am currently sitting in my Art History lecture theatre. Not very exciting - it hasn't even started yet. People are trickling in and this one girl keeps coughing and it's making me cringe - I hate the sounds that people make - it's making me feel like I'm breathing in germs and there's no way for me to stop it. Ugh.

After this I'm going to go and read all my primary sources I need for Medieval history, which I actually really enjoy. Surprisingly English is my least favorite subject right now - Gulliver's Travels isn't really my cup of tea and finishing a book a week isn't my style of reading unless I actually enjoy the novel.

I'm having a meeting with my tutor tomorrow to talk about my essay - but I haven't even started doing anything other than checking out a bunch of books on the subject. They are sitting comfortably, and unopened, on my desk. That counts as starting right?

It's snowing up here. I really dislike snow. I like snow when I'm safely inside with hot chocolate - which is how I plan on spending my afternoon in the Medieval Library.

 A girl just fell off her chair and we all pretended it didn't happen. The lecture is about to start.

So Bye.

Chinese dumpling tutorial

Today my procrastination capacity has reached a new level of originality and imagination. But that's okay because I finished my history essay yesterday! So I feel accomplished and am now sitting in the break room in the library eating snickerdoodles with my textbooks splayed around me so it looks like I'm studying but instead writing this post and using my computer device to do things that are really important to me like watching a tutorial on how to make Chinese dumplings. But I'm happy sitting here not doing anything productive because I've been really stressed this week with the insane amount of reading that my professors assigned (like actually virtually impossible) because they worship satan and dine on sickly farm animals for recreation. Oh p.s. the majority of my diet for the past 3 days has been cookies (these amazing snickerdoodles that my mother sent me in the mail) along with butterfingers dipped in peanut butter. SO that might explain my energy level as well as my difficulty concentrating.
I've been watching Parks and Recreation and it is so funny, I had never seen it before. My favorite character is definitely April because she's everything I hope to be in a person and also cause Aubrey Plaza is a baaaabe. I really want to start eating better because that was one of my new year's resolutions but it's really hard when you're in line at the cafeteria and you're like, "O wut these Doritos are only a dollar what a find GOTTA TAKE ADVANTAGE. Because of the economy...taxes...Doritos." So on Friday night I was watching Parks and Rec in my room (like a champion) and Sam texts me at like 1:30 in the morn and is like, "I went to Sonic and got way too many chicken strips do you want them." And of course, being the warm-hearted sister that I am, I had to help him out. So that was gross, I ate like five of them and they are quite large. Anyway. Whatever. I'll start eating better after Spring Break...I know this is probably really fascinating reading about my dietary habits you're welcome.
Another one of my post-new year's resolutions is to not be so nice to people. This sounds like a terrible goal but it seems like a good idea to me because I have realized that when I'm in an uncomfortable situation with someone who is a jerk, I try to just be really super polite so that they stop acting like an asshole but a) that rarely works and b) those people don't deserve politeness. So I figure, if I'm less polite then those people won't be as bad to talk to. We'll see. My muses for this idea are Courtney Love Aubrey Plaza and Barbara Walters, despite the fact that I kind of despise her.
That's all I have to report for the time being, other than the obvious which is that I love and miss you all very much. Hailey I will be calling you tomorrow for your birthday!!!
Goodbye.
Love Elaina

Rambly post #4

So I decided that to continue our streak I should also post a long rambly message about my life and then apologize for the ramplyness of it. But I don't think I really have anything to ramble about. I mean my body is pretty worn out from ya know... so much SEX. lawl no. its from basketball. I'm real tired and seem to have a new sore spot every day so that kinda sucks. Plus I never sleep enough. Tonight I think I'm actually going to get almost 9 hours of sleep though depending on how long this post takes for me to write and what I decide to write about.... cause I still don't know. This weekend (sunday night only actually) kinda sucked cause I stayed up til 4:30 writing two essays then fell asleep then woke up at 5:30 and wrote til 6:30 then slept til 8 and finished and edited them to be done by 10 on monday... so that blew. but luckily now the rest of this week has been super light and easy on the homework so I've been able to just sort of lounge around and relax. I still need to catch up on sleep.

I feel like I need to think more about my birthday. Everyone keeps asking me what I want to do and what I want and stuff and I have no idea and haven't really thought about it much. I am sooooooo happy because this week since we had a game tuesday night we only have one on friday and since we'll have had 4 games in 8 days we get Saturday and Sunday off so I'm bouts to break some rules of dry season (don't worry everyone pretty much on my team who drinks will they like to party) and drink some and actually go out and shturf so that should be fun. I want to go to breakfast or dinner or something with friends one of the days and do something crazy and fun. I want to look good. I want to be with my friends. I want to make something. It should be a fun weekend but we'll see what happens. I'll let you know!! (slashhhh I got myself an early birthday present-- my first thing of lingerie that I might whip out hehe)

Other newly important events coming up in my life that I'm missing out of because of basketball is valentines day... and I know its not that important but its still fun because I've never had a valentine before and i think it would be fun. But we have to leave right after practice thursday at like 6:30 and practice starts at 4 so we have class all day at different times so I'm just kinda screwed for that holiday... all well. I should still get him something and I have NO IDEA.... what do you get someone for valentines day who you've only been dating a little over four months... I could just make him delicious snacks on snacks on snacks... thats always an idea. I don't know but if you have ideas let me know please =]

Kelsey has this guy on our floor who's totallllllllyyyyy into her. Fiona met him. His name is James. Her and Clayton kinda fizzled out but yeah. She says she only has a baby crush on James but he really likes her I think. and they have been constantly together these last two weeks and there is so much flirtation going on I could barf. (speaking of... did you hear that story? Kelsey hooked up with clayton a couple weeks ago- she was semi-intoxicated... but after words she threw up allllllll over his floor and then passed out- maybe a little more than semi? hehe I think thats kinda funny and now everyone including him makes fun of her and calls her Kelsey BLEHHG) so I think that would be cool if her and James got together. I had never really thought about it but they look really good together- not awkward like clayton and her-- and I think it would work a lot better. But she's still not sure and I think thats good that she doesn't rush it and kinda figure it out on her own instead of having other people do it for her. I'll keep you updated on that too. Well I must be off to bed! Goodnight lovelies. I love you all loves. You are all spectacular and I want to see your faces and touch them with mine. yeah. kbye

p.s. sorry for the ramblyness of this post =] love you.

hi.

My dearest darlings, First of all, Sophia, you always make me cry with your descriptions of fantasy shenanigans and such. That was beautiful. Secondly, Hailey your post made me really happy. We're a good lookin' bunch, eh? And thirdly, Elaina, I love your brain. I feel as though I haven't conversed with you in so long. I've been wanting to call or message but so much has been going on and I feel like my brain is so crowded that I don't even have the energy most times to sit down and try to sort though all of these thoughts. WHEW. That all sounds like I'm going through a mental breakdown or something (well, actually this past weekend I sort of did - i will explain) but NOW I'm actually pretty fine. I mean, i'm mostly happy. Hah...I guess I won't commit to saying I'm totally happy though. See, before this past weekend I had been in quite a funk. I was feeling really really unmotivated and depressed and my lil' ol' self-esteem was just really hitting a low point...it was a combination of many factors, including my stress about school and not having a job since I'm not with Muse and my parents haven't been getting along lately and blah blah so on and so forth. I was just going down in this spiral of self-deprecation and inertia (ooooh the agonyyy) (gawd) (also ~word choice props~) and all this tension in my family just kept building and building until it blew up this weekend, when, long story short, my parents and I had a huge fight on friday night and then on saturday morning they sat me down and said I had to find a job in a month or else I'd have to find another place to live (you're probably thinking, like I did, whhhoa harsh, but later they took that back and said they wouldn't actually kick me out so it's cool) and so now I'm on the hunt for a crap job! woooo. and i'm still working on my application for sou. I've been really procrastinating that. I just have the personal essay part left. I don't really know why, but its been really hard to think about what I would write about, and since my self-esteem has been so low I haven't really wanted to think about myself at all. BUT no more avoiding. I think I definitely needed for everything to blow up and to just cry and cry and for someone to just shake me out of this funk. So I feel clearer now. And much happier. Just more stressed - but good stress. I think the ablaze rehearsals have definitely helped give me some direction and motivation. I'm really enjoying it. I was afraid in the beginning that I wouldn't like any of the people, because they reeeally overwhelmed me at first with their gregarious outgoing personalities and random outbursts of every song from every musical ever. And that hasn't really ceased, but i've gotten used to it. And man, it's hard work. But it's still fun. so. sorry for that long and winding rant... I'm just going to say things more often, so then they don't become long and winding! Anyways, love love love, Fi

how i f33l 2day

I've had to check my phone like three times today to remind myself what day of the week it is. For some reason it really feels like a Tuesday. Which is strange because I often find that it "feels" like a Monday or it "feels" like a Friday but when does it ever "feel" like a Tuesday? Anyway. Today, whatever day it is, has been both good and bad. It's been good in that over the past few days I've been trying to stop feeling sorry for myself for being so sad for no particular reason all the time, and start initiating conversations more and stop being so quiet and reserved about my interests. Because I've recently discovered that I do actually like talking to people who I don't know, it's just the fear of them rejecting me that makes me so quiet around people. So (getting to the point now) that's how it's been a good day, because I've been talking to people in my classes and trying to branch out from my small group of friends that I don't even really even enjoy being around. (Okay except Nicole.) Also I've discovered that I really like life. (I know that sounded so cheesy) but--especially since I started going here--I've really resented life and often wished I had someone else's life, but what I've realized is that I do love life I just hate living HERE. So if that means moving somewhere else then I'm going to do that because I feel like I haven't done anything wrong and I should be happy like anyone else. This probably seems like it is coming out of nowhere, so sorry if this reads as really random and/or dramatic, I just needed to vent somewhere other than my journal.
So there's that, but then it's also been a bad day because of little trivial things that I probably hyperbolize far more than necessary. Like, for instance, in my Humanities class today my professor asked me a question and I didn't know how to answer it and I could just feel everyone's eyes on me and could feel my face getting all hot and I probably looked like a tomato. Which isn't a big deal, I know, everyone gets flustered in class, but it was still embarrassing. And then the second bad thing about today was another silly triviality. So right after that class I went to Oppenheimer to get a coffee and relax for a bit before I started my homework, and I always go to Oppenheimer when I don't want to see anyone I know because it's located in this glass dome type thing in the center of the math and science buildings and it's mostly always upper-classmen science dudes in there. But today, as I was waiting for my drink, I saw Mark and a bunch of his friends and they were standing right next to me, also waiting for their drinks, and I just felt so anxious to get out of there because I was still sort of flustered from class and I was just feeling off and my hair was dirty and as I was standing there I was eating one of those mini Tillamook cheese rectangle things and one of Mark's friends was like, "Are you just eating plain cheese by itself?" And I just wanted to DIE because they were all waiting for me to say something and instead I just sort of laughed really awkwardly and grabbed my drink and left and oh god it was so awful. Right now I'm in the library in one of the little private study rooms which I love, and I should be doing homework cause I have an essay due on Wednesday but whatever. Tonight I'm going to yoga with this girl Chloe from the radio and thennnnn I think I will take a shower and finish my homework and sleep. I hardly slept at all last night which might be why today has felt so weird. It's also why this post probably sounds ranty and babbly. But then again what would this lil blog be if it wasn't filled with ranting and babbling? Mkay. It's 5:50 and my eyelids are already fluttering closed from exhaustion. Better go. farewell. so long. sleep well. kisses. hugs. hand-holding. foot-fondling? bye now.
Love you all to (tiny chopped up marinated) pieces,
Elaina