Hey guys! I just thought I'd let you all know about my weekend in Glencoe on here so that y'all could see. It was for this Hillwalking club I joined called Breakaway.
Ok! So we drove there in separate cars - I was with this lovely girl named Charlotte Potter who's an English major (I had a nice little private self freak out at the irony of all that), Adam who is this strange, eyebrow pierced, giggles to himself often guy from Manchester, and Craig, who is this lovely crinkly eyed Scotsman from Iverness. It was mostly an awkward ride just cause it was so quiet and was filled by me going "Sooo... what's your favorite Disney movie?" and "Sooo... what's your favorite color?" Good Soph. Good. When we got there (a bit early) we went to get some fish and chips but could only find this fancy hotel. Mind, we were in the middle of the highlands, so the fact that there was civilization at all was a bit of a surprise to me. Anyway, all we could afford was a side of chips so the scary hotel lady (I christened her Wanda) didn't like us very much. It was actually pretty funny.
We stayed in a hostel that they had rented out. It was nice to just have us in there. I slept on the top floor with a bunch of people (and BOIZ OMG) The next morning I woke up at 7:20 and walked downstairs to an already boiling kettle and murmuring voices. I met Shauna and Nicolas (both 3rd years) and ate my cereal. They were nice - Nicolas was getting all parental on me and was like "Oh I'll be sure to look after you" when I told him I was into the Archaeology Society. I was like, thanks bud. I've known you for 5 minutes but thanks for the thought. Anyway after everyone was up, we chose what walk we wanted to go on. and I decided to go on the low-medium one because I haven't been on I hike since I don't know when. The girls I was with here quite lovely and I talk with this girl Liz a lot.
The scenery there was beyond breathtaking with its dramatic shadow slashed cliffs and shimmering lochs and rivers - one of which we had to cross. I was very gentlemanly of course and jumped in to hand people over. It was really just perfect. The air smelt so clean and the sun was amazing on your face but so was the rain. Everything clear and fresh - just gorgeous. In the end, because it was getting pretty late in the day, we decided not to climb another hill and walked about 3 miles on the road to get back to the village. When we got back, we went to a pub and I had a pint of cider - which made me soo incandescently happy you don't even know. There's nothing like a bit of alcohol after a lot of walking. The entire drive back I was just humming in happiness and contentment and smiling and tingling and good. When we got back in, I talked with Adam and Craig for a while and laughed about stuff and then curled up with a book on in the common area. Then Elsbeth, a girl on the walk, came and sat with us and offered to share her Tesco value wine, which happened to be in a carton. It was actually pretty good. Then Adam tried to teach us this really weird game of cards which was all the more fun whilst slightly intoxicated. Then the committee of the club made us dinner which was this stewy thing that was really good. Theeeen I got a nosebleed but secretly so no one noticed. Then there was a pub quiz type thing but I slipped away to bed early.
The next day I woke up sore and fully intending to do the lowest walk possible. It was going to be in the Secret Valley so I was all excited. One of the older guys, Paul, was going to lead a walk that was a medium-high. But no one volunteered to go with him. I felt really bad so I decided to step up and help him out. But by that time he really was put out that no one wanted to go on his walk so AFTER I loaded all my stuff in his car he was like, Oh sorry we're going to do the high level walk. I was like, uhhhhh and he was like YOU'RE COMING.
So! I ended up going on the High walk with a bunch of men. Awesome. It started off next to this beautiful waterfall that ran down the side of a cliff. Think about a stair master- now think about it but double the height - now think about doing that for 2 hours. Omigod. Then there was this "scrambling" bit where there are no paths just loose rocks that you have to literally scramble up and we went higher and higher and climbed rocks I thought were part of the scenery until we finally reached the top.
At this point, ladies, you're probably wondering if I wooed any of these strapping young men by my physical prowess. Can you just imagine them gazing fondly at me as I recline on a stone whilst resting, my skin glowing, my eyes brightened by the exercise. Can you just imagine how one might strike up conversation with me, and maybe hand me over a particularly large rock. How impressed they must be that I would be brave enough to take on the most difficult hike with all these men. Maybe one of them fancied that they would get my number by the time we reached sea level again....
The answer is no. Just no. The fact that I was sweating, spitting, and cracking bad jokes - including one about shooting Bambi's mother- with my frizzy hair and panda hat, probably put me in the little-sister zone at best. If not the ew-what-is-this-creature zone. Sorry to disappoint girls. That would have been a great love story.
At the top of the mountain though, these two old scottish men started talking to me. They asked me where I was from, and I said Portland, Oregon. One of the guys was like "oh! my friends daughter lives in oregon but I don't remember the city..." He tried to think of it for a second then he PULLS OUT HIS PHONE whilst we're ON A MOUNTAIN and he CALLS UP HIS FRIEND and he's like "Hey, man. I'm on a mountain. I'm talking to this young lady here..." Anyway, it turns out the daughter lives in Eugene right across from my sister's school. What the actual fuck? It was awesome.
Anyway I made friends with Paul and his french friend Xavier - who's actually a complete dick but he kind of grows on you. Paul is lovely. I wish I had a brother like Paul. We got into a really passionate discussion about super powers all the way up the hill and he said he'd get me in contact with some of these Archaeology professors he knows. And we decided we were going to build a cottage in the middle of the hidden valley and I would have cats and he would lure annoying tourists down into our cabin so they could get lost in the labyrinths that he made underneath the mountains. He said he could make me my mahogany staircase so it's all settled.
Anywho, on the way down - again there was no path - So we just slid down rocks before clambering down and over giant mossy boulders and trees in the Hidden Valley and then a muddy 2 mile trek were I managed to slip and fall on my ass (again killing my seduction).
The car ride back was with Paul again. We listened to bad 80's music and Taylor Swift. When we stopped at the Chippy, I had no shoes - so I had to go outside in my socks and leggings and sort of shuffle inside and was like "Can I have some chips please?" in my oh-so-clueless American accent. It was embarrassing. But so amazing and fun.
The next day there was a pub night for the club and I met up with all the people I had met and Paul came which was fun, but I think slightly too much cider was consumed after I started talking to him about Condoms. Whoa.
BACK STORY. See, I went to the doctor for the pill and it was like this:
Her- Are you sexually active?
Me- No.
Her- Do you plan on becoming sexually active in the next seven days?
Me (Thoughts) - Ah ha! Well. Seven days is a long time, you know? *wink*
Me (Actually) - No.
Her - You're sure you aren't sexually active.
Me - Fairly positive, yes.
Her - ...
Me - ...
Her - I'm going to go ahead and give you these condoms, sweety.
LIKE SHE DIDN'T EVEN BELIEVE ME WHAT THE FUCK
SO now I have a nice bag of condoms on my wall. ANYWAY that was the necessary back story. I was telling Paul that I went to the doctors that morning and he was like, was it any good? I said, no it was crap, she just gave me a bunch of condoms. And he was like Hey I need to pay for mine! And then I come out and say "DID YOU KNOW THAT SOME ARE TEXTURED??" The conversation fizzled after that. Nice Sophia. Nice.
Guys - let's hike together. Let's spend more time outside. Let's bring wine and cheese and hike up high and sit at the top of some landmass and fucking read things out loud to each other and laugh and talk. I love you all with all of my heart.
Sorry for the long post. Keep writing.
