oh my god....

yeah...

9 hours well wasted

So WOW I literally woke up at 7:30 this morning (we're on reading period so there were no classes yesterday or today) to work on my final english essay and it is now 4:45 and I haven't written a word. I just don't understand where all that time went...how can you do nothing for 9 hours? I'm not that worried because it's not due till Wednesday but I have no idea what to write about. We're supposed to be answering the question of 'whether or not comedy is dead in a post-modern society' and I just have no clue where to begin because these past couple of weeks I haven't been paying very close attention in class since I'm all distracted and such with winter break daydreamz. But unfortunatly this essay is worth like 15% of our final grade YYAAYY. Don't know why I'm posting about this instead of working but procastination heals my wounded acedemic soul.
Anyways today has been an accumulation of highlighting unnecessary information, eating discount cereal from a box and crying sporatically at the ~terrifying~ fear of not finishing this paper in time to sit in my bed tonight with a pint of ice cream watching My So-Called Life in my pajamas. Since my roommate went home for the weekend, it would be a complete tragedy if this were to not happen. BUT ALAS in a week I will be home for break and shortly after that, we will all be together, for which I can't wait. I say out first reunion sleepover should include sitting on the floor in one of our kitchens with cups of tea, as well as watching Secret Life of Bees (I will remember to bring it home) and crying uncontrollably.
I'm going to try and work now, right after I finish doing several other mindless activities like jumping rope with a scarf.
So long! See you all very soon
Lurve elaina

EEEP winter break eep

Yesterday my Dad and I were looking in the paper for used Volvo's (The older ones that you see errywhere in Portland) and we found one that I like! It is a sort of dusty blue color. Sam and I get to have our own cars since we possibly might not be going to the same school next year and such. So YAY! I'm getting it at the end of the school year. I've been having a series of summertime premonitions today, maybe because it's sunny out (but still cold). I'm not sure what exactly I'll be doing this summer but I have a feeling it's going to be a good one. In the meantime, I actually cannot wait for winter break. What's best--other than all of us being together of course--is that since we're going into a new semester of classes, there will be no homework wooo. So we can just relax and have amazing adventures in da snow. Hailey, what time is your basketball game/where? I'm so excited to see you plaaaay. I'll make a nice lil' sign juss 4 u. GAH IM SO EXCITED TO BE ALL TOGETHER AGAIN. We should really try and have that dinner party. We can have in the barn if y'all want and it will be like we have our own house. I just miss you all so much.
SEE YOU SO SOON OH GOD.
Love Elaina

We can listen to xmas music now!

I hate that no one is here. I mean I've been with my basketball team quite a bit... like 3-4 hours a day except thanksgiving but still, there is no one in the dorm or on campus and its weird and empty and lonely and I hate it. Plus I'm the worst student ever and have SO much to do... like its ridiculous. Three essays, a revolutionary poster, and chem homework.... I'm overwhelmed and haven't done anything all week and now its pretty much too late because I have a game tomorrow and Sunday (which sucks because I'm going to be gone right as everyone is getting back). I started knitting again, and I watched a lot of tv shows and movies over the week and just like sat in my room without pants on doing nothing productive. I've skyped a lot of people (haha I skyped with Sara for 2 hours today). My family finally knows and they're all happy (I think) they found out last night because Kelsey sucks and I felt awful for not being the one who told them but all well its over and they didn't really seem to care. So he's planning on visiting I think and coming to my game in Portland on the 17th of December (the night I get home which you should go to if you can) and that will be nice and fun. Anywho... I should try and get work done. Love you all and miss you lots. Happy holiday season... time to  whip out the christmas socks and sweaters.

I'll be seeing you

beautiful.

Uhh... (#throw back 2?)

BOOM (

Sara and Joan arrived yesterday!! O H M Y G O D it was amazing. Sara got a little frightened at my tackle on the street in my big red gown but recovered quickly. They have a pretty nice hotel and after receiving a package from my mother we went to go see my dorm. My girlfriends there were really excited to meet Sara cause I'd been bouncing around all day for them to come. Then we went to Italian where Joan was like what wine would you guys like and me and Sara were like "Uhh..." So she got us red wine and pasta and it was delicious. Then we walked down the peer in the starlight - there were SO MANY STARS - and then I took them to my favorite pub were we had a pint and just talked and talked. THEN at like 9 45 (lolol) Joan was like, I'm going back and you and Sara can go party (LOLOL) and we were like, bed sounds great. 

SO now it's the next day and I"m trying to think of what I can do with them... I think I'll take them to the beach...then the castle.... then the golf course... my favorite bookstore.... favorite coffee place...hmmm. There isn't really a lot to do in St. A. But at least my crowd isn't a difficult one :) 

Wish y'all were here!

Soph

lightbulb cake (#throwback)

I am also so so enjoying hearing your guys' experiences, as i think about you often and wish i could be there with you all the time. so, let's see. my life currently involves doing odd modeling jobs (which is alright. i don't really enjoy it, those people are weird. but money is good.) and sort of "interning" at the acupuncture clinic that my mom works at (which is nice. it can be kind of boring, but the people are really great and interesting and its just so ZEN there.) I'm getting close to saving up enough money now to buy myself some singing lessons, which i've been talking about doing for aaages. i think it's time to bring that back into the mix....i actually miss singing so much, i always put on joni mitchell when i'm driving so i can sing along and it annoys my family, and miles. they don't support my freedom of expression. the jerks. BUT my mom and i are taking a roadtrip next week so we can belt with joni all we want!!!! i'm ridiculously excited. a spontaneous deal was worked out with our neighbor that if her car made it down and back from guatemala, we could just have it. it made it as far as california, which is close enough. so my mom and i are flying down to LA and staying with my grandpa for a couple of days, and then driving the car back up to portland. i insisted we drive through san francisco, and then both mom and i have forever wanted to see the redwoods, and then we're also driving through ashland to visit southern oregon university, because i'm considering that for next year possibly....pretty much i've gotta stick to a state school, since its the cheapest. so I'm also thinking about psu...which i'm not too psyched about...i kind of want to have just a pinch of adventure and independence, maybe? but, we'll see how it works out. i mean, u of o is the best school, but its just soo huge. anyways, i digress. SO YEAH ROADTRIP WOOOO. i'm going to take lots of pictures and listen to lots of nick drake and try to finish On The Road (reading on the road whilst ON THE ACTUAL LEGITIMATE ROAD?!? so topical. so original!!!) So, hopefully, i'll have lots of more interesting things to report after next week. so thats pretty much it, i suppose. I miss you all, and am sending a little brainwave package full of love your way.

percters erv thergs

Letters to hailey

Guys go back and read this blog when you have a chance... our friendship is really special that it has lasted so long and so strong!

http://haileysletters.blogspot.co.uk/2010/08/ketchup.html

Slash elaina is just fucking hilarious.

Ramblings in Medieval History Lecture...

Hmmmm posts!! I love LOVE hearing from you guys even if it is just a sentence or two. Nay, that party sounds so nice. And now even if it is really crowded next time you'll have a group of people to hand out with. Nice feeling  :)
SO I stayed up all night for the election (which you guys will appreciate knowing I've never done that before and my appreciation for sleep) and had went for a run and the morning AND the gym cause I 'had so much energy' (what?). I decided to take a nap at 3pm and woke up at 8 the next morning. Hmmm looong sleep. But with lovely romantic dreams so it was all good!
I'm going to a Belated Halloween party tonight so I'll tell you how my costume (Lennie) gets received. And then I'm having a Snake horror movie night with paul tomorrow which should be funny. Ahhhh too many social engagements.... I'm actually struggling. I'm with you nay, mostly all I wanted to do was just read  or watch TV. OR EVEN DO HOMEWORK. which i haven't done in a really long time even though I have to cause Sara IS COMING THIS WEEKEND WITH JOAN OMG. Can't wait to show her around the town and my friends :) :)
Miss everyone - better start paying attention - cute scottish lecturer just said sex... Attention = caught

<3 bai

my night of pie-eating pot-smoking and dream-pop music listening

So my day could have been a lot better. I had my rough draft of my english essay due which I finished throwing together at about 1:30 last night. I slept through my alarm so I didn't have time for breakfast and I was just feeling sort of off, you know those days? To top it all off, when I got back from french class--my last class of the day on Wednesdays--I sunk down in my chair and checked my email, planning on spending the remainder of the day watching Wallace & Gromit in my pajamas with a face-mask and a cup of tea. But WRONG. Because I had an email from Daniel (my music director dude) that was like, "YO so we've had like a shit ton of listening parties and you need to come to more of them cause you've only been to one. It is tonight at my house, at 7." Upon reading this I was so frustrated I couldn't stand it because all I wanted to do was relax for the rest of the day. I knew I wasn't going to enjoy it because the last listening party I went to (OH yes so listening parties--technically--are where the dj's meet and listen to the new albums that come in on rotation each week and give feedback and shit. Mainly though everyone just sits around and smokes a lot of weed.) was really awkward for me because there were a ton of people there who I didn't really know and I just felt really uncomfortable. But I figured I kind of had to go to this one. When I got to Daniel's house there were only a few people there--some of them I recognized as DJ's and some were his house-mates...everyone there seemed to be involved in the station though. They were sitting in a circle in his tiny living room on the couch and in comfy-looking chairs, so I sat down in an empty chair and waited for more people to get there but only two other girls showed up. So it was me, Daniel, his house mate, Matt the electronic music director, Carson (dont actually know what he does but he's real cute) and these two other girl dj's. We figured we'd get started since it was already 7:15. And it was actually so relaxed and fun, everyone there was so cool! We just listened to the rotation albums and talked about them and talked about our shows...Daniel was being super nice and told everyone there that my show was really good and he was like, "Do you think your show's gonna keep its same sort of vibe next semester?" And this made me happy because you have to re-apply and get hired again each semester, so that basically meant that he was going to hire me again which is really nice. When we were about half-way through the albums (we only listen to one or two tracks from each album) Daniel just all of a sudden was like, "I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE HOW MANY PEOPLE DIDN'T SHOW UP." and Matt was like, "Don't feel bad, they are missing out." and he was like, "Yeah except I have this CD that I was gonna give out after this little contest I was gonna do but there is like no one here." (for the record, it was a signed copy of a Tennis CD which is why this next thing pained me a little inside) So long story short, we decided to burn the CD in rebellious fury. It was SO. SATISFYING. but also a little sad. For me. Because I totally would have loved to have that CD. Anyway. After this we continued listening to rotation and Daniel turned to one of the girl DJ's and was like, "Oh wait you made a PIE, didn't you! Completely forgot. Let's get stoned and eat your pie." So the rest of the listening party consisted of these activities, and it was really mellow and I felt really comfortable with everyone there. It was also nice becuase even though I was the only freshman there, they didn't treat me like I was younger than them which I appreciated. At like 9:00, full from lemon-meringue pie and pleasantly stoned, I headed back to campus. I walked with this girl who is a Sophomore and turns out that she really (really) loves Elliott Smith. And she's not just any ol' fan, she's like MEEEE so that was a pleasant walk back, filled with squealing and gushing over Elliott. And that was my night! I'm happy that I get to look forweward to Wednesday evenings from now on. Right now it's only like 9:50 hehe. But I'm glad because now I can fulfill my dreams from earlier and watch Wallace & Gromit in my pajamas, but this time, in a better mood. yay. Sorry if this post is rambly and such, you see, I am still stoned. Love and miss you all so dearly and truly. <3

Sleep.

So I'm proud of myself. Gettin 7.5 hours of sleep tonight ahhhh yeahhhhh. And gays can get married in Washington and Obama is president and had an epic dance party with friends to 80s music 'twas awesome. Love y'all

All nighter worth it. Don't really see the point of going back to sleep... Oh well!

My lyfe now.

Ugh yeah I've been bad and haven't been posting, though I've written some things in like a word document to post. But they were all long stories and I forgot that these could just be short and sweet.
Here's my life now

• registration was today and I'm taking chem again even though I hated it. I figure I can always drop it if everything goes to shit in that class.
• Basketball is getting better. My Achilles isn't hurting anymore and they told me that I was probably the best defender on the team and that if I learned to handle the ball better I'd be a really good all around player. We have a scrimmage tonight and leave for California in a week and a half for our first games (AH!!) 
• It might snow here on Friday even though it was 70 degrees yesterday
• I like my BOYfriend a lot (which is just so weird to say and think and yeah we've basically been together a month and a half because nothing has really changed but still... super weird for me)
• I'm an anxiously waiting replies from letters I sent. I got Sophia's today.... 
• Fall is beautiful here I'll see if I can post some pictures 
• Kelsey got really drunk the other night and I missed it because I went to bed at 10:30 because I was stressed and felt sick. So that sucked. 
• I got to sing a CHRISTMAS song in chorale on Monday which just made my whole life and day and year because now I have an excuse to sing Christmas music before thanksgiving. Yay
• I'm working hard at getting at least 8 hours of sleep a night 4 days a week because I've been really sleep deprived lately and its causing me to be forever and always sick which is just sucky. So yeah-- trying to do that and be better at doing my homework. 
• I love you all and miss you very very much.

Cairngorms Trip

Hey guys! Happy election day!
The fact that I'm writing two Breakaway posts in a row just speaks to the fact that y'all have to write more often. SO this last hill walking trip was the the Cairngorms. It was so much fun - I had the time of my life.
So I drove down there with a couple of yah's (one was actually kind of cute I'll be honest) both named James. We stopped off for fish and chips on the way in this WAY sketch chippy that would have been an acceptable scene for a murder. The chips were really greasy but okay. We got lost when we were close to the hostel so Cute James hopped out to a pub to ask where it was, and this really drunk guy was like "I'll show you!!" So he had to jump start his car and sort of drunkenly started leading us in his car to the place. It was actually so scary. I was like "Guys he's probably just leading us to his lair so he can kill us all." But it turned out he was actually leading us to the place. But I still couldn't stop laughing.
The hostel was so so so nice, with fires and a piano and nice bunk beds. Xavier, the french guy, shared his wine with me and convinced me to go on the high walk the next day.
LITTLE DID I KNOW that there was SO.  MUCH. FUCKING. SNOW. I hate snow. Cute James wore shorts and Paul and I had a bet going to see how long he'd last without trousers. He outlasted all of our bets - and I mean there was snow everywhere! Like up to the waist trudging through snow. And you had to be careful - cause if you walked on the plain white snow, it could be 5 feet deep. If you stepped on the rocks though, it could be covered in ice. Like holy crap! We got lost in the mist at the top of our first mountain but Paul got us back okay. We had lunch under this enormous plastic thing to keep warm. It was like a giant orange parashoot blob to stop the wind.
After lunch we went down the mountain to this gorgeous little loch that we had all to ourselves. The mist cleared just as we came down. It's in the pictures on facebook. Then most of the group wanted to climb another mountain and I was like, You know what. I'm good here. I'll just you know. Stay here. ... so then everybody went but me and Paul... awk. But no it wasn't. We just talked about everything and he made up stories about castles and fake Scottish legends. It was really lovely actually. And then when we got too cold waiting for them by the loch, we went down the valley to this tiny little cottage thing called a bothy, where hill walkers can stay for free. It's literally one room with a tiny fire place. There was an old hiker there for the night and he made me and Paul tea and gave us biscuits. It was so cool cause he was just sharing stories about hiking and stuff and it was like a book, really. By the time the others came back it was starting to get dark - cause in scotland it gets dark nowadays at like 5 and getting earlier by the day. So we should have had to really hurry back to be safe. But instead we decided to have a singalong. Cute James beat-boxed, Paul and I took lead, and this other guy took backup. Oh my god it was so funny. We sang through Bohemian Rhapsody and all the Sound of Music songs and disney songs for two hours. I was laughing so hard. I forgot how much fun it was to sing outside at the top of your lungs. I forgot about that.
That night we had mashed veg and haggis it was so delicious. I slipped away to bed kind of early cause I was exhausted. The next morning I was for sure taking the low walk. Cause Paul promised me a castle but mostly because I was so beat from the day before. Before we left I said goodbye to Xavier cause he's leaving St. Andrews for good next week. He kind of took me aside and told me that if I ever wanted to visit France - like even in two years - to just give him a call and I could stay with him no problem. It was actually the sweetest thing ever. So on the walk we walked around this loch and there were a like a million sheep and cows it was fantastic. We ate lunch in the heather on the side of the trail. It wasn't as exciting as the first day - no thought of getting lost in the snow - but it was really nice with good conversation and good sheep. I love me my sheep.
YUP I think that's about everything. It was a load of fun and I'm having a really good time over here. Except I'm watching descent right now. And its scary as shit. Last night I went on a ghost walk for Guy Fawkes night and it was scary as shit cause they took us to this abandoned hospital and we had to break into the cemetery and it was so so scary. But good fun cause we went to the pub afterwards.
I miss you all in my heart of hearts and I want you to post on here more often. Not about exciting things. Just about anything and everything.

My Weekend Of Hillwalking

Hey guys! I just thought I'd let you all know about my weekend in Glencoe on here so that y'all could see. It was for this Hillwalking club I joined called Breakaway.
 Ok! So we drove there in separate cars - I was with this lovely girl named Charlotte Potter who's an English major (I had a nice little private self freak out at the irony of all that), Adam who is this strange, eyebrow pierced, giggles to himself often guy from Manchester, and Craig, who is this lovely crinkly eyed Scotsman from Iverness. It was mostly an awkward ride just cause it was so quiet and was filled by me going "Sooo... what's your favorite Disney movie?" and "Sooo... what's your favorite color?" Good Soph. Good. When we got there (a bit early) we went to get some fish and chips but could only find this fancy hotel. Mind, we were in the middle of the highlands, so the fact that there was civilization at all was a bit of a surprise to me. Anyway, all we could afford was a side of chips so the scary hotel lady (I christened her Wanda) didn't like us very much. It was actually pretty funny.
 We stayed in a hostel that they had rented out. It was nice to just have us in there. I slept on the top floor with a bunch of people (and BOIZ OMG) The next morning I woke up at 7:20 and walked downstairs to an already boiling kettle and murmuring voices. I met Shauna and Nicolas (both 3rd years) and ate my cereal. They were nice - Nicolas was getting all parental on me and was like "Oh I'll be sure to look after you" when I told him I was into the Archaeology Society. I was like, thanks bud. I've known you for 5 minutes but thanks for the thought. Anyway after everyone was up, we chose what walk we wanted to go on. and I decided to go on the low-medium one because I haven't been on I hike since I don't know when. The girls I was with here quite lovely and I talk with this girl Liz a lot.
The scenery there was beyond breathtaking with its dramatic shadow slashed cliffs and shimmering lochs and rivers - one of which we had to cross. I was very gentlemanly of course and jumped in to hand people over. It was really just perfect. The air smelt so clean and the sun was amazing on your face but so was the rain. Everything clear and fresh - just gorgeous. In the end, because it was getting pretty late in the day, we decided not to climb another hill and walked about 3 miles on the road to get back to the village. When we got back, we went to a pub and I had a pint of cider - which made me soo incandescently happy you don't even know. There's nothing like a bit of alcohol after a lot of walking. The entire drive back I was just humming in happiness and contentment and smiling and tingling and good. When we got back in, I talked with Adam and Craig for a while and laughed about stuff and then curled up with a book on in the common area. Then Elsbeth, a girl on the walk, came and sat with us and offered to share her Tesco value wine, which happened to be in a carton. It was actually pretty good. Then Adam tried to teach us this really weird game of cards which was all the more fun whilst slightly intoxicated. Then the committee of the club made us dinner which was this stewy thing that was really good. Theeeen I got a nosebleed but secretly so no one noticed. Then there was a pub quiz type thing but I slipped away to bed early.
The next day I woke up sore and fully intending to do the lowest walk possible. It was going to be in the Secret Valley so I was all excited. One of the older guys, Paul, was going to lead a walk that was a medium-high. But no one volunteered to go with him. I felt really bad so I decided to step up and help him out. But by that time he really was put out that no one wanted to go on his walk so AFTER I loaded all my stuff in his car he was like, Oh sorry we're going to do the high level walk. I was like, uhhhhh and he was like YOU'RE COMING.
So! I ended up going on the High walk with a bunch of men. Awesome. It started off next to this beautiful waterfall that ran down the side of a cliff. Think about a stair master- now think about it but double the height - now think about doing that for 2 hours. Omigod. Then there was this "scrambling" bit where there are no paths just loose rocks that you have to literally scramble up and we went higher and higher and climbed rocks I thought were part of the scenery until we finally reached the top.
 At this point, ladies, you're probably wondering if I wooed any of these strapping young men by my physical prowess. Can you just imagine them gazing fondly at me as I recline on a stone whilst resting, my skin glowing, my eyes brightened by the exercise. Can you just imagine how one might strike up conversation with me, and maybe hand me over a particularly large rock. How impressed they must be that I would be brave enough to take on the most difficult hike with all these men. Maybe one of them fancied that they would get my number by the time we reached sea level again....
 The answer is no. Just no. The fact that I was sweating, spitting, and cracking bad jokes - including one about shooting Bambi's mother-  with my frizzy hair and panda hat, probably put me in the little-sister zone at best. If not the ew-what-is-this-creature zone. Sorry to disappoint girls. That would have been a great love story.
 At the top of the mountain though, these two old scottish men started talking to me. They asked me where I was from, and I said Portland, Oregon. One of the guys was like "oh! my friends daughter lives in oregon but I don't remember the city..." He tried to think of it for a second then he PULLS OUT HIS PHONE whilst we're ON A MOUNTAIN and he CALLS UP HIS FRIEND and he's like "Hey, man. I'm on a mountain. I'm talking to this young lady here..." Anyway, it turns out the daughter lives in Eugene right across from my sister's school. What the actual fuck? It was awesome.
 Anyway I made friends with Paul and his french friend Xavier - who's actually a complete dick but he kind of grows on you. Paul is lovely. I wish I had a brother like Paul. We got into a really passionate discussion about super powers all the way up the hill and he said he'd get me in contact with some of these Archaeology professors he knows. And we decided we were going to build a cottage in the middle of the hidden valley and I would have cats and he would lure annoying tourists down into our cabin so they could get lost in the labyrinths that he made underneath the mountains. He said he could make me my mahogany staircase so it's all settled.
 Anywho, on the way down - again there was no path - So we just slid down rocks before clambering down and over giant mossy boulders and trees in the Hidden Valley and then a muddy 2 mile trek were I managed to slip and fall on my ass (again killing my seduction).
 The car ride back was with Paul again. We listened to bad 80's music and Taylor Swift. When we stopped at the Chippy, I had no shoes - so I had to go outside in my socks and leggings and sort of shuffle inside and was like "Can I have some chips please?" in my oh-so-clueless American accent. It was embarrassing. But so amazing and fun.
 The next day there was a pub night for the club and I met up with all the people I had met and Paul came which was fun, but I think slightly too much cider was consumed after I started talking to him about Condoms. Whoa.

BACK STORY. See, I went to the doctor for the pill and it was like this:
 Her- Are you sexually active?
 Me- No.
 Her- Do you plan on becoming sexually active in the next seven days?
Me (Thoughts) - Ah ha! Well. Seven days is a long time, you know? *wink*
Me (Actually) - No.
Her - You're sure you aren't sexually active.
Me - Fairly positive, yes.
 Her - ...
Me - ...
Her - I'm going to go ahead and give you these condoms, sweety.
 LIKE SHE DIDN'T EVEN BELIEVE ME WHAT THE FUCK

SO now I have a nice bag of condoms on my wall. ANYWAY that was the necessary back story. I was telling Paul that I went to the doctors that morning and he was like, was it any good? I said, no it was crap, she just gave me a bunch of condoms. And he was like Hey I need to pay for mine! And then I come out and say "DID YOU KNOW THAT SOME ARE TEXTURED??" The conversation fizzled after that. Nice Sophia. Nice.

 Guys - let's hike together. Let's spend more time outside. Let's bring wine and cheese and hike up high and sit at the top of some landmass and fucking read things out loud to each other and laugh and talk. I love you all with all of my heart. Sorry for the long post. Keep writing.

douchebags and tools

Nay I totally understand what you're talking about - that was really well put. I think I've taken an my tendency to observe to an extreme since I've been here. I watch students on the street instead of joining them. I go to bookstores and coffee shops alone. I like it when I'm alone where I can watch people. Sometimes I think that I should learn to participate in the world around me but that's sometimes difficult for me to do. The people here are bizarre. The Student Union is just a bar, and there are pre-gaming activities arranged by the dorm and the adults just come and have a drink with the students. And people don't tend to go out on weekends - only weekdays and especially Wednesday. It's just all so weird and forign to me. It's feels strange to go out on pub crawls and play drinking games to disney movies but well...when in rome... I have made some really good friends though - not a lot mind you. Just good ones. We decided that we would all share a flat next year. Of course, this was decided after many vodka and cranberries had transpired and we had just finished singing Mr. Brightside whilt hugging... but I may just hold them to it. One of my favorite passtimes, though, is making fun of the rich people. There are so many of them it's rediculous. Just douchebags EVERYWHAH. There's this guy from Micheal from New York who is loaded and ALL HE TALKS ABOUT is how he got SO WASTED the night before and MADE OUT WITH IS ACADEMC SISTER but he STILL LOVES HIS GIRL FRIEND. Haha, and my friend Sarah afterward is always like "Oh my god. We're in europe. no one cares" I've decided that one of my least favorite things in the world is hearing about other people's drunk nights. They're mostly Americans who do it. I don't care if they give a quick summary but MAN some people go into detail. If I wasn't there I really don't want to know. But people just drink all the time here so it's hard to avoid the annoying 18 year old American babbling about making out with his sister. My classes are tough but mostly because most of it takes place outside of the classroom. We have a few lectures and tutorials. And hundreds of pages of reading to do. It's like Snyder and then some but for 3 classes. I miss you all rediculously and home a little bit but everything here is still passing in such a blur and I'm just trying to catch up. I'm going on a weekend trip to Glencoe with my academic mother and some of her friends. It should be fun :) Soon we must skype and all will be good.

observations/confusion/rambling/etc.

It's just occured to me how strange and unreal this all feels. Even though I'm not living at home, I still don't really feel independent. I feel like the subject of an experiment where people are watching everyone in this school like we were in a giant plastic bubble, taking notes on our behavior. And I feel like I'd be cast in with the variables that turned out to be outliers and taken out of the data. (look at me, stats termonolgy!) I know that sounds like some weird bullshit that my Aunt Carla would say while smoking a joint, but it's how it feels. I just can't seem to get a handle on how I feel about being here; somedays I'm so excited about everything and so happy, and other days I go on walks as far away from campus as I can and call half the people in my contacts and peruse the Amtrax website for train schedules. And it's not even homesickness, that's what's so frustrating, I have no idea what I'm anxious about. I thought maybe it was schoolwork but I'm not overwhelmed on that front right now, and still I feel so strange and off-put. When I think of Portland, just imagine walking down streets that I know and passing farmiliar restaurants and stores, I feel so much more relaxed and calm. But what doesn't make sense is that I've always had anxiety, even when I really was walking down those streets and passing those shops and seeing people I know. But here it's a different kind of anxiety that's less 'depressed' and more high strung and lost. Like the feeling you get when a teacher is explaining a concept to the class and they're all nodding their heads and affirming their comprehension while you're sitting there, still completely lost, but too embarassed to say so because it's obvious that everyone else gets it. That's exactly how I feel here, but instead of a concept of a subject, it's like the concept of how to live in this environment. (excuse me while i go light up another joint...) I say things to people and they just stare at me. And in my head I'm like, "THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO NODD YOUR HEAD AND PRETEND YOU KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IM TALKING ABOUT EVEN THOUGH I PROBABLY SOUND CRAY." But what I've realized most of all is that you guys are just so much more REAL and THERE than the people here. I know that sounds like a generalization and it probably is, but sometimes I'll get back to my room from hanging out with people and I'll just be like, "Wait...what the fuck was that? Was that real, did that just happen? What did we talk about?" I don't know. I know this probably makes no sense and I'm rambling like a crazy rambler rambles but I'm just so confused about ERRYTHANG. My fear is that if I stay here for four years, I'll change and be like all these people that I'm meeting, just totally absent and non-empathetic. (yeah yeah yeah i'm generalizing)And I really don't want that to happen. I don't know. FACK. Sorry for the weirdness of this post, I just feel like I'm going crazy. Also we must skype this weekend! I miss observing the movement of your guys' facial muscles.

Went clubbing. Hold me back guys.

Con Bro Chill Doppelgänger

Hey ladiez. Sophia you sound like you're having a really nice time so far, I am so so glad. I'm jealous about all the coffee shops and such! You should totally get a job at one of the book stores and fall in love with a handsome Scottish boy who works there too. My days here have been very busy but relatively un eventful. I had my date with Will on Saturday (last night) and it was very nice and laid-back. We got dinner at the SUB (the cafeteria)(wooooo exciting) and then went to get frozen yogurt in the proctor district, but we both only had our student cards and forgot money (derp) so we just stole a shit ton of samples it was pretty funny, he said he felt like a criminal heh. And I was like "son i been stealin' fro yo samps since I could WALK." I didn't say that but god, I wish I did! Then we had made plans to go see a movie but we didn't feel like walking all the way to the theater so we just hung out in mah room and talked about books and I showed him my Elliott Smith book and was probably a lil too excited about it but oh well. Then it was pretty late so he went back to his dorm. Nothing happened except a really awkward kiss that I really wasn't expecting because it was just a really strange moment to try and kiss someone, but it was still really sweet. So that was that and then just this morning, I was walking to breakfast and this guy who looked EXACTLY like Con Bro Chill (like the same person it was so bizarre) passed me and was like "that's a really cool sweater, I really like te pocket!" and I was like "uhhhh THANK YOU! I like your shirt as well!" and that was that. In other news, I miss you all so so so much and miss seeing you every day and going to the hof and having sleepovers and making tea in our kitchens.

what's the haps, ladies?

oh my lord, sophia, that all sounds amazing. your adventure trying to get back into the dorm sounds a lot like when i got locked out from the house in england at midnight - after half an hour of wandering around the house looking for a window i ended up lying on the ground, with my arm shoved through the cat door, wacking a stick of bamboo against the lock, begging it to open. and, i kid you not, it was raining. lolz. i'm so glad there are a plethora of coffee shops and bookstores there for you. i hope they meet the standard of the hoff. but you know, though, the hoff wasn't actually all that great, but after a summer of reminiscing about school (wierd) the hoff is remembered as the place where we had all the good conversations, the good laughs, it was the place to escape. it was very homey and familiar. speaking of, i went to rimsky's last night with miles, emma, and kiley. it was strange, to be there without you guys. it felt like i was there 30 years from now, feeling out of place at this place where i used to feel so comfortable. i really miss you all intensely. so, i auditioned for Ablaze. i got a callback, which i'm going to today. but, it's to be considered for "The Fire", which is the vocal orchestra of 8-10 people. so its an ensemble part. which is disappointing. but, i decided to do it anyway, because you know, you gotta start somewhere. and i'll get to sing and do what i love to do, so i shouldn't sacrifice that just because i won't be in the spotlight. HAHA oh, also i saw amanda schenberger/love/whatever her name is, at the audition. that was odd. she always appears to be on the edge of tears...it's unnerving. okay, so, i propose that we write on here or hodgepodge more often. because i miss my best friends. alright. and LETS MAKE A SKYPE DATE SOON. cool. xoxoxoxo

My First Day (ish)

Hey everybody!! We haven't written on this properly for forever so I decided I would take this time to document what's going on with my first few days on Uni. (ha. uni.) Yesterday, my family and I drove down at 10 and moved myself into my room. My room. Is huge. I've got this decorated high ceiling like in an old movie, two big windows (which my desk faces out of), book selves, and wardrobes. I don't have a shower or a bathroom, but there's a secret private one that's just around the corner that I can use. My room mate is just really sweet. Her name is Becca and she's from England. (Boss accent). She didn't move in for forever yesterday so I was sure she was dead. I went out and bought her welcome cookies from the local market for when she arrived. Mostly I just kind of wandered about town. There are so many little bookshops in nooks and tiny allies it's amazing. Loads of coffee shops too. For a Skyline kid, I'm in as much of a city as I can handle. There are pretty much 3 streets in the whole town: South St, Market St, and North St. But I still manage to get lost. My hall, McIntosh is right in the middle of everything bacially. It's just around the corner from the Union (a club/bar/dance area), and from Tescos, and from most of the classes. The hall is pretty neat. We had a manditory meeting today and they were all really funny and nice. They distributed free condoms and their main message to us was "Be a jolly egg. Don't be a dick". Accually. And one of the wardens was like "Look. If you're gonna get pissed (drunk) just clean up after yourself. And don't go peeing in the street. Ladies, I know you think you'll never do it but it happens. And doing it behind a tree doesn't help. I can see your ass for miles." Haha... I've met some really nice people too -- not sure if any of the friendships will stick, but there's a lovely girl from California that reminds me of Sara. Last night...wait for it... yes. I went on a pub crawl. My first pub crawl ever. We were carded everywhere we went. I've never seen so many bouncers. But I used my drivers licence and got in. Everytime we were in a bar I kept on expecting to get kicked out. I got a gin and tonic in the first pub and then just took it easy for the other ones. The girls I hung out with were all really nice and funny. This morning (happy birthday me!!) I woke up at 6:30 and went for a run. On the beach. With the sunrise. Listening to lord of the rings music. I swear to god I almost cried. It's the same beach used in chariots of fire so I felt that I was doing the right thing. I got back, and realized that the door to the hall was closed...and locked... I mean, I had my keys so I tried to open the door several times and failed (turns out I was pulling when I should have been pushing...ugh embarassing... so I sat on the steps (at 7:30 in the morning, mind) and waited for someone to come out....when someone did I snaged the door and was going jollily on my way until I hit the next door... which required a swip from my metriculation card... which was in my room. I sprinted back out to catch the girl who had originally opened the door and played the dumb fresher. I got in eventually but it was an adventure :) When I got in, I took an awkwardly handled shower, then got dressed in my favorite sweater, then took another walk. I got coffee and read a book. Then I went on a walking tour and met more nice people. Not everyone is nice, though most people are. The people you have to look out for are the "Yahs" and the "LADS" Yahs are really posh rich people that wear tweed and seem to almost dominate st. a. It's creepy. Look up "Gap Yah" on youtube for an example. Lads are just really annoying yet still very intimidating jock-like bros. Like the guys that were leaning outside of their window yesterday night drunkenly yelling after me "FRESHAAA WUZZUP FRESHAAA" My room mate got me a card and a cupcake for my birthday which was so so sweet. I haven't really done much for my birthday. I said goodbye to my family, which was tough but rushed so I didn't cry or anything. But I just felt kind of emotionally drained. I joined the gym but it's like a 20 min walk out of town. Haha. Tonight there is Clan Warfare, which is a party where the different halls 'battle'. It includes drinking and facepaint. I'm going to try to get tickets to that. I also want to sign up for the Friday Bop too. Which includes cheesey 80s music. So there. I miss you guys. Let's make more posts like this so that we know what each other's doing. I want to knoww!!! Sophia

fo-toes of thangs.

a completely random assortment of my current thoughts and activites.

This morning I had a riding lesson that--like most riding lessons-- I was not particularly looking foreward to because I usually leave the barn bored, sweaty and seemingly unfullfilled in terms of my everlasting desire to gallop freely into the sunset. This morning, however, Bekki told me to get out my jumping saddle which I haven't ridden in since I didn't have boobs. It was so nice because it weighs about 1,000 pounds less than our dressage saddle and it's much prettier and smells like old leather. We didn't actually end up jumping during the lesson, but we did have the whole lesson outside cantering up big hills, so close enough. It was so lovely and the sun was out but it wasn't too hot, just perfect riding weather. So yes. That happened. Then I went home and took a shower so my hair got all fluffy. So fluffy, in fact, I'm going to die. (ha.) I wanted to get a milkshake but Sam had the car so I sat in my yard up by the blueberry bushes and listened to music and read some magazines. Then I thought I'd go for a walk in my woods which was the best part of my day because while I was walking, I was listening to music and Last Thoughts on Woody Guthrie came on my iPod which is Bob Dylan reading this really really long poem he wrote for Woody Guthrie, all about not knowing where to go or what to do, but being challenged by all these big ticket items and people who sort of trample on people who mind their own business and when the poem ended I started to head back to my house, but I realized I was totally lost. Really, I had no idea how I had gotten that far out and I wasn't sure which direction was the way home, so I started to get kind of scared but then I thought, 'Wait, this is like what I think about all the time!' I always fantasize about getting lost in the woods and just lying down and not caring what time it is, but when it actually happened I got scared. So realizing this, I started walking and eventually I saw the yellow paint of my house behind the trees. And it was so much nicer getting home and not being releived or nervous. Yeah... When I got home I went up to my room and--literally--out of nowhere--literally--I went online to check facebook, but instead I googled "the best way to poach an egg." I have no idea what promted my mind to be filled with this particular piece of knowledge and i'm not sure I ever will. But I wrote it down in a notebook and then I started looking up other things like the best way to hard boil an egg and how to know if a piece of meat is too rare, etc. So I wrote that all down and now when we liveeeee togetherrrr I'll have all this handy information so we can cook things correctlyyyyyyyy.

SUMMER

It's here. We did it.
After next week (LAKE WOOOOOO) I will be busy Monday-Friday from like 8-3:30 ish HOWEVER that leaves weekends WIIIDDDDEEEEE open. campingtripsbeachtripshikessauviesislandhangingoutzooshoppingtakingpicturesamiright? If we're gonna do a camping trip (or multiple) we should find out open weekends. Fi and I were talking and I'd like to do one just us and then one maybe with guys?!? =] let me know what you think and what weekends you are available and if your parents would be down for us to go on one by ourselves (mine and fi's already are) =] Love you!!!!!!!!!

asleep

After the thunder stopped, I made another cup of tea and wrapped up in a blanket and climbed into my treehouse. The ladder was slippery; it's made of wood, so the rain made it slick and slimy. It was hard to carry the tea and the blanket up at the same time, so I made two trips. When I got up there, I went to the top level--there are two levels--and I sat down against the flimsy wall where me and my brothers had written our names in paint when we first moved here. And it smelled the same as it did then, like mud and wet bark. It was cold, but I was warm enough with my blanket and with my fingers wrapped around the hot tea cup. The last time I had sat up there was with Aaron and Sam, when Sam and I were about ten. We came home from school early that day and I don't remember why, but I remember that it was getting dark outside and how I was afraid of being in the woods at night, but how safe I felt with my brothers--especaially Aaron, since he was older. Today when I went up there I didn't feel scared of the woods, but I still wanted more than anything for Aaron and Sam to be up there with me, making a plan of attack in case we had to fend off some wild animals. I wanted to share my cup of tea with them and get in a quarrel with Sam for taking bigger sips than he was supposed to. I wanted Aaron to make a carefully devised plan so that he could ensure that all of us were drinking an equal amount. He was always doing things like that, making things easier. When I was with him--in the woods or anywhere--we could do anything, because he was so brave and he always knew the best way to get somewhere.

Scintilla



i would date you so hard then marry the shit out of you

THEN RAISE THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KIDS!

AND GIVE YOU ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU’D EVER FUCKING NEED.

AND PAY THE HELL OUT OF THAT FUCKING MORTGAGE.

AND THEN WHEN THE GUTTERS ARE CLOGGED I’LL GET UP THAT FUCKING LADDER AND CLEAN THAT SHIT UP WHILE YOU STAND BY THE KITCHEN WINDOW COMICALLY JUDGING MY WORK.

AND THEN WE CAN VACUUM THE FUCK OUT OF OUR CARPET SO HARD THAT WE’LL HAVE TO GET A NEW ONE.

WE’LL WASH OUR CLOTHES SO GODDAMN FUCKING HARD. FORGET NO RINSE, WE’LL USE HIGH FUCKING SPEED.

BUY A FUCKING MINIVAN TO STUFF OUR BEAUTIFUL FUCKING BABIES INTO IT AND DRIVE THE FUCK OUT OF IT.

THEN WE CAN GO SOME FUCKING PARENT-TEACHER MEETINGS AND MEET THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KID’S TEACHER. THEN JUDGE THE SHIT OF HER IN THE CAR.

AND WE CAN THEN PILE ALL THE CHILDREN IN THE FUCKING MINIVAN AND GO TO THE STORE AND SHOP FOR GROCERIES SO HARD THAT WE ACTUALLY HAVE TO MAKE MORE THAN TWO TRIPS TO GET ALL THAT SHIT INSIDE THE HOUSE.

AND THEN COOK THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KITCHEN UNTIL WE HAVE NO FOOD LEFT AND WE FEAST ON THAT SHIT FOR FUCKING DAYS.

I WILL EAT THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR HOMEMADE COOKIES.

THEN WASH THE SHIT OUT ON THE DISHES TOGETHER UNTIL OUR ENTIRE HANDS GET FUCKING PRUNEY.

WE’LL WATCH OUR KIDS FUCKING GRADUATE AND MOTHER FUCKING TEAR UP LIKE THE BADASS BOSSES WE FUCKING ARE.

WE WILL GROW SO DAMN OLD TOGETHER, WE WILL LOOK LIKE FUCKING RAISINS.

I WILL FUCKING TELL YOU EVERY SINGLE SECOND HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOVE YOU.

HOLDING EACH OTHER’S FUCKING HANDS SO HARD THAT WE SHIT OUR SELVES.

UNTIL WE DIE AND ROT AS MOTHERFUCKING CORPSES TOGETHER.

TIL DEATH DO US FUCKIN PART.

HAPPILY EVER FUCKING AFTER.

these houses I have grown to hate

Strange Day

I skipped school today to study for history. I didn't do that much studying. None, really. It appauls me how much of my time is wasted on the computer or just complaining about things. After 3 hours passed me by without me even noticing it today I knew that I had to slam shut the computer and get the fuck outside.
So I did. I read books outloud to myself and I just listened to nothing. No iPod. No TV show in the background. Just what was going on around me. Birds cars leaves horses chewing just everything. I checked my watch after a seemingly lengthy time. But only 15 minutes has passed.
Time's funny. But the fact that 3 hours can just slip by freaks me out. I didn't like it.
It was a beautiful day - I wish I could have fully enjoyed it.

I miss all y'all. This summer is going to be perfect. Okay?

Calm Yo Tits