First post of the year y'all!
So I just got to school on Saturday and classes start tomorrow. Fi helped me move in and comforted me whilst I cried like a lil baby (again thank you for coming with me, you are very great.) I really like my room and my roommate, we ate breakfast together this morning and I told her my anxieties about being back at school and how I don't have a lot of people here who I'm close to, etc etc., and we talked about movies/music and such. She is a big Woody Allen fan which pleasantly surprised me and she thinks critically about all sorts of music/is open to new artists and styles of music (she's a music major and plays the cello.) I decided I'm only going to take three classes this semester instead of four because I feel that it would reduce my stress and maybe help me to enjoy my classes more (but mainly because I was dropped off the waitlist for Geology lulz.) But even though things seem (and are) better than last year, I still feel that this isn't the right school for me. I don't know if it's because I have too many unsavory memories from last year or if it really is the people or the campus or Tacoma itself, but I'm pretty sure that I can't thrive here and can't live up to my full potential (ugh corny.) I called my dad yesterday and he was like, "well, if you're that sure then you might as well pack up your stuff and come home today so that you can apply to PSU in time for the fall quarter." And I was like "okay I will I just want to wait a couple days so I can talk to my advisor about details and legalities and such." But in my head I was like "well shit what a waste of time coming all the way out here and moving in and am I being too hasty about all of this?" SO I thought about it some more and spoke with my dad again today and we decided that it would be best if I stuck it out for this first semester and then applied somewhere else for spring semester. That way I can have more credits to transfer over, and hopefully will allow me to avoid core requirements at a new college. Also, if I get good grades this semester, which I'm going to try very hard to do, I could transfer somewhere like Lewis & Clark rather than PSU. Not that PSU isn't a perfectly good school, I just think I would maybe like it better at Lewis & Clark. So that's that. In a way I feel guilty because I know that I'm fortunate to be going here, so it's ungrateful of me not to enjoy it, but as my dad said to me on the phone, there's no point in spending so much money just to be unhappy for three more years. So I'm still not entirely sure what my plans are exactly, but I feel pretty good about my decision to transfer. I'm still gonna have a show so I'll let you guys know soon when my slot's gonna be. It's gonna be called Pony Club. Yeuh. I already miss all of you very much and I can't wait to hear how your semesters are going.
Love always & always,
Elaina
