THEN RAISE THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KIDS!
AND GIVE YOU ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU’D EVER
FUCKING NEED.
AND PAY THE HELL OUT OF THAT FUCKING MORTGAGE.
AND THEN WHEN THE GUTTERS ARE CLOGGED I’LL GET UP THAT FUCKING LADDER
AND CLEAN THAT SHIT UP WHILE YOU STAND BY THE KITCHEN WINDOW COMICALLY JUDGING
MY WORK.
AND THEN WE CAN VACUUM THE FUCK OUT OF OUR CARPET SO HARD THAT WE’LL
HAVE TO GET A NEW ONE.
WE’LL WASH OUR CLOTHES SO GODDAMN FUCKING HARD. FORGET NO RINSE,
WE’LL USE HIGH FUCKING SPEED.
BUY A FUCKING MINIVAN TO STUFF OUR BEAUTIFUL FUCKING BABIES INTO IT
AND DRIVE THE FUCK OUT OF IT.
THEN WE CAN GO SOME FUCKING PARENT-TEACHER MEETINGS AND MEET THE FUCK
OUT OF OUR KID’S TEACHER. THEN JUDGE THE SHIT OF HER IN THE CAR.
AND WE CAN THEN PILE ALL THE CHILDREN IN THE FUCKING MINIVAN AND GO
TO THE STORE AND SHOP FOR GROCERIES SO HARD THAT WE ACTUALLY HAVE TO MAKE MORE
THAN TWO TRIPS TO GET ALL THAT SHIT INSIDE THE HOUSE.
AND THEN COOK THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KITCHEN UNTIL WE HAVE NO FOOD LEFT
AND WE FEAST ON THAT SHIT FOR FUCKING DAYS.
I WILL EAT THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR HOMEMADE COOKIES.
THEN WASH THE SHIT OUT ON THE DISHES TOGETHER UNTIL OUR ENTIRE HANDS
GET FUCKING PRUNEY.
WE’LL WATCH OUR KIDS FUCKING GRADUATE AND MOTHER FUCKING TEAR UP LIKE
THE BADASS BOSSES WE FUCKING ARE.
WE WILL GROW SO DAMN OLD TOGETHER, WE WILL LOOK LIKE FUCKING
RAISINS.
I WILL FUCKING TELL YOU EVERY SINGLE SECOND HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOVE
YOU.
HOLDING EACH OTHER’S FUCKING HANDS SO HARD THAT WE SHIT OUR
SELVES.
UNTIL WE DIE AND ROT AS MOTHERFUCKING CORPSES TOGETHER.
TIL DEATH DO US FUCKIN PART.
HAPPILY EVER FUCKING AFTER.
OH MY GOD THAT WAS THE BEST THING I EVER READ IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. I'M FREAKING OUT. THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL
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