HI IM HAILEY AND I LIKE TO PUT ERASERS ON PEOPLE BUTTS, MEANING STRICTLY ELAINA FRIEDMAN'S.

AHMAGAAD it's your birthday and stuff. That's really special. You're 17 so you can see R-rated movies without getting sass from a bitch with long gray hair who works at Fox Tower. ...

I love you more than the idea of a lightbulb being incoorporated into a cake as a practical joke. Although I'd probably get sued because someone would have to be hospitalized and put into a medically induced coma. WOAH WHAT?

I'm really not sure if this is even funny at all because I'm pretty much asleep right now. I'll probably regret this post later. I apologize.

Anywayz gurl I luh you. I am excited for tomorrow when I get to see you beautiful face! I'm sorry I'm so weird. Thanks for not saying it to my face. OH WAIT YOU DO HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That was me, laughing sarcastically.

I'm annoying myself so Ima stop. Happy Birthday again, my lovely lovely love.