Children

I'm having a terrible day.

The worst part is that I don't know why even. Like, my audition went well, I'm doing pretty well in all of my classes and I have you guys and stuff but... I don't know... It feels like I'm behind on everything and I don't get anything and this year really isn't turning out the way that I was thinking it would, you know? And no my "Path Is Not Warm" or whatever. It isn't like that, but I'm just SICK of going through the motions of high school and not feeling accomplished afterward.

Angst.
Angst.
Angst.

Moving on!

My audition went well today but it was kind of bizarre... We walk in and he's like okay take off your shoes and socks and get on the stage. (Normal for Matt. He has a strange obsession with bare feet on the stage... something about connecting) Then he thrust a scrip into our hands (me and this kid called Alec -- who's in our grade even though I have NEVER seen him before -- awk) and said: "Okay, do this scene together" I did alright, he stumbled a lot but was good overall. Then he gave us a single monologue and asked us to read it out loud (finally the way I read out loud wasn't embarrassing like it is in English class). Then he's like, do you consider yourself a singer? And I'm like, sure. "Sing something"

uhhhhh.

Okay you guys. Think RIGHT NOW what would you have sung? Something cool right? Musical theatre-esque perhaps? Or maybe a popular pop song?

I sang Swing Low. REALLY? Is that REALLY the only song that could pop to my head? Ugh. I blame the fact that I was cast in ever African American role in Skyline because I was the blackest girl there.

Anyway, then he put on this music and asked us to 'respond': moving around, expanding, contracting, and interacting with each other. The music was trippy. And this guy was SO uncomfortable. I'd done this before and it was less intimidating this time because last time it was done in the dark to Enya, let by candles... oh, and with Eric Asakawa. ;) But still, I tried to think of a non freaky way to 'touch' this kid that I didn't know so I kind of did some hand touchy think and then he like grabbed me in a hug randomly and I was like


"...uh..."

That was embarrassing. But other than that it went fine.

Now I just want to go on a hike in a misty wood with my horse to calm the fuck my nerves down. I burst into tears tonight because nothing was happening the right way and I feel out of control.

Ah, hormones. They're a beautiful thing.


Picture time.

ELAINA FRIEDMAN (typed in google images)

HAILEY MCDONALD

FIONA WOODMAN



This is all.